Maybe one reason is that I kind of decided to start writing and submitting poetry for publication, so I bought a Poet's Market book, which is sitting there looking nice in my living room, I did open it, once. But since buying the book, and deciding to write less poetry for the blog, I've been surviving on minuscule helpings of haiku. Haiku is tasty, it's kind of like dim sum, but I want more. I suppose I should begin psychoanalysis as to why I haven't started upon my self imposed task of submitting for publication, yes I could write it off to 'being busy' and that wouldn't be false, but it's not really the reason either. I also can tell you that it is completely within my personality type to say I just haven't felt like doing it yet. But really, it is the remains of paralyzing self doubt that I still haven't quite been able to kill dead despite being a world traveling superwoman, able to beat off masses of descending rickshaw wallahs with a single 'back off' glance. Yet, even though I've masqueraded as a brave conquering superwoman, the demons live. And thrive.
Recently, during the few attempts when I have set myself down to write a poem, words just presented themselves out of my mind in such a jumbled state of garbage that their fate is to remain as scrap piles in my journal, only to be surprised in 10 years when I go back and look to see who I was then.
GARDENING HEALS
These pictures are the before and after shots of the planting beds I just made in front of my house. The first picture, I had dug out about two feet of lawn already before I took the shot. The shots are not great shots, I'm only showing you for documentary purposes.
I don't know if it is that you have your hands on the ground and are playing with your pet earthworms, (trying to save them from the violent shovel instigated earth disasters that disrupt their little earthly abodes), or whether you are co-creating with the faeries when you are planting, or whether it's because you are working your lazy ass off for the first time all winter, but gardens heal. Body, mind and soul. And newly invigorated from the spa of hard work, I decided to TRY to write a poem, and here it is, with the help of the structure of the time honored sonnet.
Calliope Goes Off to Play
A simple sonnet, that is all I ask,
To place upon the stacks of empty shelves,
Now set down on the sofa with the task,
Enlisting help from literary elves.
If I can't write about the things I see,
Those things in grips of shadow hidden light,
I wonder then what night's befallen me,
What's crowded o'er the tendrils of my sight?
Calliope has fled into the fields,
I see her playing yonder with her friends,
While I, with shovel, dig for crops to yield,
The ground will fail if I don't make amends.
Perhaps she'll visit here for just this task
A simple sonnet, that is all I ask.
I thank you all for your abundant support, you have all inspired me hugely and vastly, and in gargantuan fashion.
22 comments:
May you be blessed with a string to tie all those jumbled words together and may you doubts be put in their honorable place... in a box under your bed with the dust bunnies.
What a pleasant blog this morning, in contrast to some of the more problematic lives I've been reading this Monday.
Thank you, Catherine. Your muse will attack you gently one day soon, I predict. But I've always love sonnets
and rhyming ones, at that! Ha!
The literary elves would be in awe of this Cat. You ought to be immensely talented to pull out a sonnet like this out of nowhere!
You are a deity! I worship you!
Cat, what a honest, touching post. Even though we have no doubts, we can feel yours.
You have given your own answer to those doubts with the poem. What could they possibly say now? :)
Beautiful!
And by have no doubts, I mean about your work, not ours! I am laughing at how that could sound! :)
Damn good, Cat. Sonnets aren't easy, and this is as good a theme as any, and very well done!
a nice read this evening. relaxing.
My God, Cathy...You Amaze Me!!!
Such a wonderful sonnet & such a lovely post.
You are Truly Talented, My Lady!
I love, love, love this sonnet! It has the earnestness of your yearning along with a certain playfulness with the appeal to Calliope. The gardening theme pulls it all together beautifully.
I don't think you need worry about not being able to write. You've just proven once again that you can!!
Sonnets feel timeless, and you've written our words and fears but made them totally your own.
I look forward to your writing more and more.
Cat, I want you to know that I think you write so magically- whatever you write is poetry. Seriously, your prose is poetry. You just need to bring it into rhythm.
Cat, have you ever read your own words? How can you doubt? You are a poet as sure as my boss is a spawn of satan.
Your haikus whet my appetite for all that you could come up with...
and just look at this sonnet you pulled out of thin air.
its like Joey said- "Catherine, not a good poet? DUH! That's like Mother Teresa, not a good mother"
:) i love you.
Cat! I'm pretty sure this beautiful sonnet has helped you.
You're not going to have any trouble coming up with a wonderful poem. I'm certain all that work in the garden helped a lot.
Loved your connection between Calliope and gardening. :)
I love the title of your post. it really made me smile. I know how hard it is sometimes to get inspired. You are so multi-talented that I wouldn't worry too much. You are just busy with other things. Love the garden, BTW. See - you are being creative - the words will come.
Your sonnet was just perfect - very whimiscal, yet full of sincerity. I am going to start sending poems out, too, in a few weeks. I haven't done that for awhile. ;)))
Why not use the Duotrope Digest and NewPages instead of a Writer's Market Book? That's what I've done from time to time.
As for gardening, my wife and I are preparing our backyard for a garden tour.
You're so right about Karen's poem. It's absolutely beautiful. But you're not giving yourself enough credit, because you did it, too! Your poem is wonderful. The garden really worked its magic for you. I especially like:
"Calliope has fled into the fields,
I see her playing yonder with her friends,
While I, with shovel, dig for crops to yield,
The ground will fail if I don't make amends."
(Sorry if I screwed up your lines there...I never know how the formatting will look in comments...I love those lines).
Try Duotrope's Digest for submitting: http://www.duotrope.com/index.aspx I guess that link will come out. If not, just google Duotrope's. It's fun to navigate. It's free. And it gets updated on a regular basis. It contains many different genres, too. Nope, they don't pay me to say this...lol! I have had some good finds there.
I was just wondering today if we'd get to see pictures of your garden. Thanks for posting those, too.
Thanks, Cat! I enjoyed the read very much!
Cori-Aw! Thank you! But I think I'll put it out in the compost instead, do you think it's a good idea?
Steve E, hello Stevaroni! Thank you!
Aniket, You are such a love. We are all one, I worship you back. :-)
Jennifer, :-D I know that nobody has self doubts but me, I am the only one afflicted with that particular curse. Actually, it is a comfort that so many folks here have written about that issue, I think it is more common than not, but it bugs the %&#$* out of me!
Rachel, :-) Thanks.
Karen, you are quite an inspiration, your poetry has a huge affect on me. This latest one clearly really got me thinking, so a great big thank you to you my friend.
Hi Shadow. :-)
Deepa, Thank you my friend. :-)
LGL-I love you too my dear, I am continually floored by the wisdom and courage you have for someone so young in years.
Margaret, thank you! Have fun in Ireland, I'm jealous! :-)
K. Thank you! That is good news too about your desires to publish, perhaps we can be inspiring to each other in our publication endeavors?
JR THANK YOU!! I will check these out. And I wish I was closer so I could come on the tour, that's about my all time favorite thing to do, gardening and seeing other people's gardens.
Julie, Thank you so much! You are the publication queen, and I've been meaning to write to you for inspirational advice, so I appreciate this.
You are all such good friends, and I really appreciate you all for your words and encouragement. I'm going to go compost that self doubt right now. :-)
come n read!!! :)
Submitting poetry can be fun, but I have to say that actually publishing in your own space and having real readers can be far more satisfying than the endless cycle of submissions, many weeks (months) of waiting, and rejections. Poetry is a tough road for publication.
Yes, gardening heals...
And such a sonet, in the absence of Calliope... well, what can I say, you don't need her after all to write your wonderful poems. :-)
Those self doubts are known to all of us (they've been elbowing me lately, too), but you managed to slough them off with this charming, plaintive sonnet, Cat.
Right?? ;)
(I know those wicked things are cyclical, though; we need to put a stake in them!)
I always enjoy your posts that interweave the personal and poetry. And your garden is as beautiful as I envisioned!! Bravo, beauty! :)
Jason, you have a thought provoking point. I feel it is true indeed that I am more inspired to write for the blog than for any other reason at this point, and if it's inspiring, I'm going to do that! Thanks!
Vesper, Thank you! And I think she's back anyway, it seems she just had to get out for a while, you know, get some space! :-) Thanks.
Sarah, Truer words never said, I do feel as tho my doubts are staked down for the time being, though you know how those growing things are...perhaps some weed killer will do the trick?
I will show you some more pictures as the garden grows. THEN it will be really gorgeous! Already my little seeds are popping up! Hurray for the rain.
I'm glad you came by, thanks sweetie. And let there be no doubt, you are simply an amazing writer.
You know the problem Cat? We need to find a way to train our Muse to write on command. ;-) Sometimes I want to write so badly, and she is like a pouting child in the corner, and then there are times i just can't shut her up! ;-)
I'd love to know how the process and progress of publication goes. Your work certianly deserves the rich texture of recognition!
Thanks Jorc, I know we share that feeling, and it often really makes me wonder what or whom I'm protecting sometimes, that makes 'her' stay away! Well, luckily writing always comes, just not always when you want it to. This one started writing itself when I was taking a bath. :-)
Post a Comment