Hello Everyone,
Jason Evans of The Clarity of Night ran a short fiction contest calling for entries of not more than 250 words based on the above photo. The contest results have been announced, and although my story did not win, I am pleased to announce that it has rated into the '40's Club', those that scored 40 or over for a possible 45 points. The most successful part of this contest however, is the community building that it inspired, and I am very pleased with all of the new blogging friends I have made as a result. Great job for all of the entries, and congratulations to the winners!
Son Games Mother
by Catherine Vibert
Tommy gave a long sigh as he stepped off the escalator and walked down the hall into the waiting room. He knew if he didn’t show up, she would take his computer.
“Come in Tommy.”
“This is stupid,” Tommy plopped onto the sofa and crossed his arms.
“We can sit here and talk about that if you like,” the therapist’s voice was calm, sterile, “Or, we can just sit here. Either way, it’s the same to me.”
Tommy stared at the floor most of the hour. When his time was up, he reached into his pocket for the co-pay check his mother had written, slipped it into the therapist’s hand, and bolted out of the room.
Later at dinner, he sat down with his mother to eat.
“How was your appointment?” she asked.
He gave his mother an angry stare.
“We determined I’m just lazy.”
“Did you talk about any resolutions?” she searched his face for any truth.
“I don’t care!” Tommy shouted, “I don’t want to go anymore!” He threw his chair back and ran to his room, slamming the door behind him.
Listening from behind the door, she heard his computer power on.
“Tommy, please come out here and talk to me!” she pounded at the door, but he had returned to the game, there would be no talking tonight.
“Good night Tommy,” she walked away, defeated.
“You have an instant message”, her computer beckoned.
“I hate you”, said the words on the screen.
19 comments:
This really resonates with the general disconnect that we presently endure in our society. The social fabric really has become a world-wide web - loosely connected strings wound together prviding little comfort/warmth and, at best, simply an accessory...
Compelling, how easy the computer
takes the place of Tommy's voice.
Very good, I would like to read
more of this,Cat.
A harsh subject... the double alienation by being a teenager and by living in the on-line age...
Well written.
(I'll post the comment at Jason's too.)
Hi all, Thank You! and as always it is great to see you here. I'm saving any direct comments until the contest is over.
I enjoyed your story. Read it twice over at Jason's blog. The boy's hatred runs deep.
Ouch, not words a mom wants to read ....
I just wanted to express my admiration for your story too, Cat. I thought it had one of the most powerful themes and final lines of the contest (from what I've seen, anyway).
And it was good to read some fiction from you, since I'm a fan of your poetry!! :)
Wow. This is so powerful, Cat. You have done a beautiful job of portraying many relationships in the modern world. I see this in people I have met. I also love the computer voice at the end.
I will look at his site, too. This is awesome and especially nice to read your fiction!
The only probelm I have with this story, Cat, is that it seems so real that I was beginning to think it was non-fiction! Loved the screwdriver twist at the end with the IM.
Nah Rick, it reads like fiction, has all the elements of a short story. May even be one of my five top picks.
Hi my friends! It is really fun to read all of your comments, and I am biting my tongue very hard not respond until after the contest. I thank you for the comments!!
very powerful stuff!...i say that as a mom whose heart was in her throat while reading it.
I just got home from work and I'm heading back over to Jason's blog. So far I've got three favorites. Your story happens to be one of them. Haven't ranked anyone yet, but I'll be going back through each story.
Thanks JR! I'm glad to have met you via this contest! What an astounding point of view you have over there in your world.
Thank you so much everyone, for your comments, they mean very much to me. For everyone and anyone who is wondering, it was inspired by true events with both of my sons that happened a long time ago, and those days have thankfully passed with all of the relationships in good standing. So Rick, yes it is not fiction and JR, yes it is fiction. An absolutely fictitious accounting of an honest situation that I think pervades a great deal of our young folk and their parents today. ;-)
If you want to read more about the life of a gaming addict, my son James has a blog on the subject called Months Without a Shower, http://add-gamer.blogspot.com/. I'm sure he'd love to have you visit his blog!
I feel strong empathy for mothers(since I am one) AND children growing up in this age of therapy and 'medicine' and computers. It's a complicated morass at best and can only be solved on an individual basis.
dear,
i did read this happening story...
but i avoided to comment beacuse i am another confused parent . who wonders and uses all the tricks and tips to take care of ever demanding kids ... (they are lovely too :) )
Karmanna, welcome. It is such a hard job, especially if you are a soft soul. I wish you all the best in that endeavor.
I just wanted to say congrats on the 40s Club! :)
Hi Jennifer, and congrats to you too! Well deserved I think!
Whew, what an amazing day!
So much excitement! I will never forget today.
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